Oh, the sea. Our wee Calmac ferry is nothing compared to your vastness, is it? Compared to you, we’re like a solitary frozen pea floating through space. A tiny dot on life’s boundless canvas. Aye. Cos you are the fucking sea! Humanity’s great ungovernable master! Oh, sea, sea, sea, see us safely from Ardrossan to Brodick on this stormiest of Scottish nights…


One-act comedy-drama. Two actors take the ferry to Arran for a well-paying job, but an unfortunate ‘tiny wee lie’ threatens to sink the entire gig. Thematically, the play explores the cost of the intense emotional labour and vulnerability required of actors.

Performed at the Old Hairdressers’, Glasgow, February 2023.

Writer/director – David Hewitson

Vanessa – Kelly Johnston

Helen – Anne-Marie Feeney

Dramaturg – Julie Calderwood Fitzsimmons

Lighting designer – Daniel Devine